To Market, To Market...

... to buy a fat pig.

Or as the current climate in the financial markets indicate, the pig's broken loose and running amok, creating havoc and chaos whilst the shoppers call for someone to get the situation under control so they can once again shop in peace without all the other stalls being ruined by the panicked ungulate.

So, after devouring all this information, I naturally focus my attention to more pressing matters: Celebrity Offspring. There seems to be, according to various gossip sites and the like, a sudden spawning of babies in the celebrity world. So, a closer look at celebrity offspring and their cuteness/uncuteness rating led to a rating discussion between myself and Miss T.

(The following is an email exchange, and if you find the idea of adults bitching and dissing ugly children reprehensible, then please look away and come back in a few days for a new post)

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Subject: Fugly children
Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:43:23 -0500
From: Marmoset
To: Miss T

Is it just me or does Bindi Irwin annoy the f**k out of you? Poor minger.


From: Miss T
Sent: lundi 21 janvier 2008
To: Marmoset
Subject: RE: Fugly children

Bindi Irwin is certainly not easy on the eye. In fact, she's downright ugly. The crimped hair doesn't help either considering how booffy her hair already is anyway. Has she made it into the news or TV over there? Please say no.


Subject: RE: Fugly children
Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2008
From: Marmoset
To: Miss T

Well, she was on dlisted.com Something about a ‘visit Australia’ campaign, and she was there with her mother, and she was doing that thumbs up gesture in some fugly dress and that fugly grin. I know its mean but its just unkind to encouage such an unfortunate looking child.

The whole world is laughing at, not with, her...


From: Miss T
Sent: lundi 21 janvier 2008
To: Marmoset
Subject: RE: Fugly children

The bad thing is they really ARE laughing AT her and not with her. She's working off her father's name and it won't last. She's completely under the radar over here now. Thank god.


Subject: RE: Fugly children
Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2008
From: Marmoset
To: Miss T

Good. No point in letting her head getting too big. It already looks fugging big with the hair.

And she might end up like What Happened to Baby Jane?


From: Miss T
Sent: lundi 21 janvier 2008
To: Marmoset
Subject: RE: Fugly children

Well, she could do with some makeup, and Baby Jane was good at that.

***

Anyway, we know we're going straight to Hull, so we continued compiling a list of the top3/bottom 3 celebrity children.*

Top 3
- Violet Affleck (awww... makes me want to have a little girl child)
- Suri Cruise (still think she's an Icelandic orphan)
- Junior Andre (so unbelievably gay looking, apple not far from tree etc)

Bottom 3
- Bindi Irwin (cf, conversation above)
- Britney's kids (erm... yes. They always look downright grubby)
- Shiloh Jolly Armpit (looks like Jon Voight)

I hear that pigs make good pets, and don't answer back though, so I may consult Other Half before deciding on the aspect of children.

*Please note that the above list is compiled by rating the offspring based on pictures and images available freely on the internetweb.