Things I've Stolen...
one of my favorite websites to log in to and read random comments and amusing stories is b3ta.com (link on side). This is by virtue of the screen being a dull gray with lots of text all over it, so if my boss were to sidle up to me, provided he doesn't look at the screen and read what's on it, from far it looks as if I'm doing some research.
Anyway, one of the Questions of the Week was about shoplifting/stealing, and it got me thinking about the things that I may have deliberately or unwittingly stolen or shoplifted:
- I stole a pack of stickers when I was 8 and was into fancy sticker collecting. I was so paranoid that I didn't even check what I was shoplifiting and when I got home and examined my haul it was one small sheet of white box labels, 4"x6".
- I once picked up a book at Tesco's and popped it under my arm while I picked up other groceries. When pay time cam I paid for all the groceries and walked out with the book still under my arm. The beepers didn't do off and to be fair, I had bought 2 bottles of champagne and had totally forgotten about it.
- I once went to a party where everyone was so wasted they kept giving me their rolled up 20 pound notes. I tried to give them back but they kept saying I'd given them the notes. So I got home and I was 140 pounds richer.
- I once went to TopShop and tried on an ear cuff. It was luminous pink and I forgot to take it off and walked out of the shop with it.
- When at Uni, Small Flatmate and I had a mad old time nicking things. She was however, the queen of kleptomania. Under the gaze of a bouncer she brazenly mounted a bike that some guy had just got off outside a bar, and proceeded to ride home completely drunk.
- We woke up one day to find the staircase obstructed with traffic cones.
- Just before our finals we had one last night out. On the way back we somehow schemed and managed to nick a bouncer's walkie-talkie. This was very amusing at the time, until when we got home I asked her what was the point of one walkie-talkie, and her then boyfriend including Other Half started to make us even more paranoid by saying that these things had radio trackers in them and if we were found we'd be persecuted and locked up, as well as expelled from Uni. Next day, Small Flatmate and myself were ashen faced as we headed back to the bar and I pretended to lean over the counter to retrieve a menu, but surreptitiously dropped the walkie-talkie behind the cash machine.
More to follow, if I can think of any...
Anyway, one of the Questions of the Week was about shoplifting/stealing, and it got me thinking about the things that I may have deliberately or unwittingly stolen or shoplifted:
- I stole a pack of stickers when I was 8 and was into fancy sticker collecting. I was so paranoid that I didn't even check what I was shoplifiting and when I got home and examined my haul it was one small sheet of white box labels, 4"x6".
- I once picked up a book at Tesco's and popped it under my arm while I picked up other groceries. When pay time cam I paid for all the groceries and walked out with the book still under my arm. The beepers didn't do off and to be fair, I had bought 2 bottles of champagne and had totally forgotten about it.
- I once went to a party where everyone was so wasted they kept giving me their rolled up 20 pound notes. I tried to give them back but they kept saying I'd given them the notes. So I got home and I was 140 pounds richer.
- I once went to TopShop and tried on an ear cuff. It was luminous pink and I forgot to take it off and walked out of the shop with it.
- When at Uni, Small Flatmate and I had a mad old time nicking things. She was however, the queen of kleptomania. Under the gaze of a bouncer she brazenly mounted a bike that some guy had just got off outside a bar, and proceeded to ride home completely drunk.
- We woke up one day to find the staircase obstructed with traffic cones.
- Just before our finals we had one last night out. On the way back we somehow schemed and managed to nick a bouncer's walkie-talkie. This was very amusing at the time, until when we got home I asked her what was the point of one walkie-talkie, and her then boyfriend including Other Half started to make us even more paranoid by saying that these things had radio trackers in them and if we were found we'd be persecuted and locked up, as well as expelled from Uni. Next day, Small Flatmate and myself were ashen faced as we headed back to the bar and I pretended to lean over the counter to retrieve a menu, but surreptitiously dropped the walkie-talkie behind the cash machine.
More to follow, if I can think of any...
posted by Marmoset at
1:46 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home