Things Wot Happened To Me...

... in 2007

• I was really upset by the negative attitude and utter cuntingness of my Canadian ex-flatmate. She's still there in the same flat and the nice German Gay that I lived with is still having to put up with her because she won't take a hint and just fucking leave.
• I moved over to East London and flatshared with a nice guy called Dave. Meagre porn collection, but very funny and dry. We used to get pissed at my favorite wine bar then stumble drunkenly to M&S and buy loads of food before jumping in a cab to head back.
• I got my permanent contract where I was working in the City. Good salary increase plus benefits that included Luncheon Vouchers up to the generous value of GBP3 per day.
• I acquired my shoebox flat in London, which I now let to my friend Career Girl.
• I made a fabulous new friend, Stornisse, by virtue of him having a headache.
• I went to the Dominican Republic and had a nightmare journey getting there and back. The wedding we went to was beautiful, but the food was so-so, and I also contracted suspected Dengue fever. My glands were the siye of ping-pong balls all over, my groin hurt when peeing, I had ulcer lacerations in my mouth and all down my throat that I couldn't drink or eat and sleeping was hell. On the bright side I caught a tan and came back brown AND slim, with 4 pairs of Havaiaanas and a bumper pack of codeine to help me through the pain. It is my new favourite drug.
• Miss T came to visit from Australia, and we got horrendously drunk on the balcony with a fabulous couple, Pen Boy and Ice-Cream Boy.
• My darling Mother came for a fly-by-night visit to attend some business meetings.
• I lost my job in a reshuffle at work. So did a number of other people including some who had been there for donkey's years. However it was a bit of a nasty shock the way they went about it, so I sought legal council and made them pay, big time.
• I got a new job a day after I got the news that I was being dismissed from the old job. With another payrise and in Switzerland, so I could move over to be with OH.
• I learnt to ski better, but still can't tell left from right and skied straight into a sign that indicated LEFT and I turned RIGHT.
• OH procured Kylie tickets for May 2008.
• I met another fabulous friend: Tai Tai D
• Bastard Ex rang me excitedly that he'd got a job in the City and we could 'do lunch' all the time. I had great pleasure in telling him I'd got another job in another city, and that I was not available to do lunch. EVER.

There may be a few other things, but that's pretty much the highlight of my year. And thus, this little monkey will leave you with a bit of light hearted entertainment, until after Boxing Day when service may be resumed (or in 2008)

Merry Christmas everyone and a very Happy New Year.