Customer Non-Service...

I am trying to book a flight for a trip in November:

***

Dear ABC Customer,

Thank you for contacting ABC.

At this time, we provide tickets for flights originating in the United
States, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, Mexico, Australia,
Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong,
India, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, The Netherlands, New Zealand,
Norway, Poland, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, Turkey and the United Kingdom.

I understand that you want to make a booking using an XYZ card issued from Switzerland.

The following credit cards are accepted on the Orbitz website:

* Orbitz MasterCard, Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Diners Club, XYZ, Carte Blanche and Discover.

The credit card must:

- have a billing address and be issued by a bank or company in the
United States, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, Mexico,
Belgium, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, The Netherlands, Norway,
Spain, Sweden and the United Kingdom.

As an alternative, you may ask a friend or a relative to book your
reservation with their credit card as far as it meets the above
mentioned criteria.

***

What if I have NO FRIENDS or RELATIVES who live in any of these countries?

Go figure.

Dating 101...

I've recently discovered craigslist, and it has been providing me with hours of amusement, especially the different dating requirements you can compare and contrast below, between gay men, and straight women. Behold:

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(woman looking for men)

looking for my prince charming - 34

I want to be treated like a princess. over being used. i want a good hearted man who likes to have fun and who likes me for me. And knows how to treated a woman right.i like the outdoors like Fishing , motor sports. I espically like speedway love to go out to the pub or a nice restaurant.I dont like liars or cheaters and not into mind games . So if you are one of them dont bother me

Someone needs to see a therapist. Speedway love? I don't even want to know the euphemism there

***

(man for men)

London Hotel Monday Night, Bi Guy

Hi Guys

I am a good looking 35 year old english bi lad, in london for the night on monday looking for bi or married lads for fun.

I am 5ft 8, tanned good looking with a nice dick, pretty versatile. Will send pic on return. Lets organise something. American guys especially welcome.

See, no mind games here, or fishing. And he doens't mind being used. You don't have to fork out for a romantic dinner either.

***

(woman looking for men)

I am Pandora....

The darkness is death - we can speak, but we are not heard. We can scream but they turn their backs. We can run, but we cannot catch them. It is the dream where arms and legs won't work the way they should, and the air is too thick to breathe. Loved ones walk a mile ahead, forgetting to stop as we fall behind. This is the reality of the darkness. We are buried alive inside ourselves

She sounds terrifying. I wouldn't want to open her box.

***

(man for men)

Looking for guys with big nipples/into nip play - 27 (Central)

Post says it all. Looking for guys who like nipple play, stroking, licking ... mutual fun.

Also love guys with massive nips, the bigger the better. You can be any size or age as long as you have some nice tits to work on. Chub guys always seem to have the biggest nips and I love to work em.

The pics posted with this reminded me of the story of the Tinderbox , with each pic the nipples got bigger and bigger. From saucer-sized to hubcaps.


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(woman looking for men)

Good Christian woman for a good Christian man

Christian men need only apply. I’m an attractive woman who’s looking for more than just a date. I’d love if I could find a respectable gentleman who knows how to have fun out with friends, but also enjoys staying home and having a romantic night in.

Her idea of fun sounds like reading the scriptures and playing Scrabble in Latin.

***

(man for men)

Wanna talk dirty?

Let's have an e-mail chat and get each other off using our words.

My stats:
American
white
19 y/o
5 feet 4 inches
140 lbs
blonde hair
blue eyes
small but thick cock

Maybe the Christian woman can teach him abstinence.

I ventured into the realms of online dating once, way before I met OH or even the few boyfriends before. Let me tell you something, 8 years ago online dating was almost Victorian in manner.

Or perhaps I was looking on the wrong websites...

Change...

Remember the time in school when you decided you didn't like your best friend that you swore to be friends until death the week before because you found another friend who had more cool toys and whose mother let you drink Cola when your mother told you 'Cola' was a bad word? You thought they'd changed.

Remember the friends at school when you signed the autograph/promise/deep secret books and you wrote in the margin 'FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS' but then a month after leaving school you realise what twats the were? You thought they'd changed.

Remember the friends at uni when you had long nights discussing the meanings of life and love and how bastards had done you over, then at graduation you tearfully exchanged promises to keep in touch forever since you'd gone to uni and experienced 'growing up' together, then 3 months later you find out that so and so who was you best friend then slagged you off behind your back constantly? You thought they'd changed.

Remember the mmajority of friends you met at work, and you felt close to them and then circumstances dictate otherwise and you lose touch and you feel that they're not close anymore because you felt they'd changed.

And then there is the moment of clarity where you realise that with everyone busily changing around you and you judging how different they are, you neglect to realise the main thing:

You have changed too.

Sugababes - Change [XVID]
par wonderful-life1989

Merry Chr.... erm...

OH often jokes to people that I have the attention span of a gnat and I'm prone to the power of suggestion. He often demonstrates this by mentioning a certain type of food which will then have me obsessing over wanting to eat the aforementioned for a number of day, or until I find something else to sate my hunger.

Of course I always rise above it and deny it simply.

Until today.

I normally chat to Stornisse online during the day, and today whilst I was chatting to him I was flipping though the newspaper and saw an article on how Christmas ornaments were already on sale. So my mind started racing and before I could stop myself I was trawling through pages of Christmas ornaments and decorations, trying to decide what colour scheme OH and I should have for our first proper grown up apartment together, until I clicked on a particular page.

Which reminded me that HALLOWEEN was only 56 days away.

Then I realised perhaps I am prone to suggestions after all.