Nit Picking...

...and nail biting.

People have the most peculiar habits. Since joining the ranks of the employed masses, I have had the joy of commuting day after day, to and from work on these cattle wagons otherwise known as the London Underground. Now, if you have ever had the joy of travelling on the Tube during rush hour, you would realise the following:

• Everyone squashes up to you when the train is full, and you get a face full of whatever anatomical anomaly they decide to thrust at you.
• Everyone is always pushing past you to get to the only empty seat at the other end of the train.
• The only empty seat is usally right next to the Only Tramp who is the Only Smelly Person
  Other people on the tube who have seats automatically asume that they are shielded from the world and are in their own personal space, and as a result able to do whatever they want.

Take for example this morning. I managed to find a seat coming into work. The lady sat next to me looked very professional, and was busily making copious notes on her spreadsheets and Meeting Agenda. Halfway through the journey, while I was reading the Metro, I suddenly feel a slight nudge from my right where she is sitting. I looked round to find her biting the nails of her left hand, while her elbow kept jabbing me in the ribs. Her other hand held some notes high, to block the view of others standing above her.

This was most annoying.

Then when I got to my interchange station, there was an annoucement that the train was suspended due to a passenger taken ill a few stations ahead. They were awaiting an ambulance and as a result had cancelled all the rest of the services. Why London Underground just didn't move the sickly passenger off the train to allow for others to continue their day, I have no idea.

So, next stop was the bus. Hopped on and 2 stops later we were told that the bus was terminating and that there were 2 more directly behind.

As you can guess, by this time I am already seething.

Then I get stuck in the lifts.

These are no ordinary lifts. Due to this being a posh establishment, they have Talking Lifts. However, its not a very welcoming voice, but it sounds like some Korean Woman reading out instructions to people while being on Speed.

'DOORHS OH-PEN-ING' ('GEHT- AUHT')

'DOORHS CLOH-SEENG'

Finally after 2 minutes (it seems like an eternity if you're stuck in a lift) the doors opened. Speed-Laced-Voice announces with great (forced) jolity that I am on the 'FEERST FLOORH' (GEHT-AUHT) and so I get out to hear the doors slam behind me...

I'm not made out for work.

I think I might go back to uni and do a Masters instead....