Things Wot Happened To Me...

... in 2007

• I was really upset by the negative attitude and utter cuntingness of my Canadian ex-flatmate. She's still there in the same flat and the nice German Gay that I lived with is still having to put up with her because she won't take a hint and just fucking leave.
• I moved over to East London and flatshared with a nice guy called Dave. Meagre porn collection, but very funny and dry. We used to get pissed at my favorite wine bar then stumble drunkenly to M&S and buy loads of food before jumping in a cab to head back.
• I got my permanent contract where I was working in the City. Good salary increase plus benefits that included Luncheon Vouchers up to the generous value of GBP3 per day.
• I acquired my shoebox flat in London, which I now let to my friend Career Girl.
• I made a fabulous new friend, Stornisse, by virtue of him having a headache.
• I went to the Dominican Republic and had a nightmare journey getting there and back. The wedding we went to was beautiful, but the food was so-so, and I also contracted suspected Dengue fever. My glands were the siye of ping-pong balls all over, my groin hurt when peeing, I had ulcer lacerations in my mouth and all down my throat that I couldn't drink or eat and sleeping was hell. On the bright side I caught a tan and came back brown AND slim, with 4 pairs of Havaiaanas and a bumper pack of codeine to help me through the pain. It is my new favourite drug.
• Miss T came to visit from Australia, and we got horrendously drunk on the balcony with a fabulous couple, Pen Boy and Ice-Cream Boy.
• My darling Mother came for a fly-by-night visit to attend some business meetings.
• I lost my job in a reshuffle at work. So did a number of other people including some who had been there for donkey's years. However it was a bit of a nasty shock the way they went about it, so I sought legal council and made them pay, big time.
• I got a new job a day after I got the news that I was being dismissed from the old job. With another payrise and in Switzerland, so I could move over to be with OH.
• I learnt to ski better, but still can't tell left from right and skied straight into a sign that indicated LEFT and I turned RIGHT.
• OH procured Kylie tickets for May 2008.
• I met another fabulous friend: Tai Tai D
• Bastard Ex rang me excitedly that he'd got a job in the City and we could 'do lunch' all the time. I had great pleasure in telling him I'd got another job in another city, and that I was not available to do lunch. EVER.

There may be a few other things, but that's pretty much the highlight of my year. And thus, this little monkey will leave you with a bit of light hearted entertainment, until after Boxing Day when service may be resumed (or in 2008)

Merry Christmas everyone and a very Happy New Year.

All Alone...

... at work today.

Listened to some Virgin Radio which I'd forgotten I enjoyed so much. Anyway, some Sarah McLachlan came on, and it reminded me of a post which Stornisse had posted a week or so ago.

Here's my contribution to all of you in case I don't get to post before Christmas.

Big Love

Stuart Alan Jones...

... after tonight's conversation.

Tai-Tai D is American and I met him at some drinks do a few months ago. Initially we said hi and bye, then we met again a couple of months later. Somehow we got chatting and we realised that we'd found our inner Tai-Tai between us; thus we became friends.

So I leave London, and Tai-Tai D is devastated. However, fate will have it that he comes over to the Land of Yodelling for work quite alot. And so we met for dinner tonight and caught up on all the gossip. Somehow during the course of the conversation on to topics more pressing, such as 'would you put out on a first date?'.

My answer, dear reader, is that quite frankly, yes.

You see, if I didn't 'put out' on the first date, then quite frankly I don't think OH would be on the cards. I remember quite distinctly that after hearing a diatribe of 'oh, you're really nice, but, I'm not really looking for anything...', that I just turned round, looked him in the eye and said, 'but do you want to sleep with me now?'

Long story short, the answer was 'YES'.

And Happily Ever After.

What got me thinking is that I have, from a very young age, always been assertive. What I wanted, I got, and OH is not shy in reminding me every so often, how difficult and 'I want things done my way' I really am.

So, in homage to Stuart Alan Jones of Queer as Folk, I salute you that in having you as a role model I learnt to be assertive enough to get what have, which is what I want.

Which is a Whole-Lotta-Good.

Party, Party, Party...

... at various places around town.

2 weeks in to living in a new country and I've already been to more parties that I can remember. First up there was the Celebrity Party, where the invite said to 'party like a celebrity' and Other Half kept insisting that we go as a Hollywood Couple and party as celebrities.

Then there was the dinner party where after the first litre of Martini, we lost count of the drink ration and found out later that umpteen bottles were consumed.

Midweek there was a few more occassions to go out, but at this stage I declined, as there were more events to attend on the weekend, and along with that I've started in my new role which demands rather long hours.

Anyway, there was a UN party on Friday which OH and I attended. It was in the Palais de Nations, which is an impressive building but the decor is still stuck in the 60/70's era. In the hall where it was held there were yellowing fluorescent lights which cast a dull glow on the creamy marble walls. Food was in abundance, and the journos who were celebrating this annual event were giggling and being racuous, while the diplomats which had to attend were all milling around in the shadows and sipping wine from the pint sized plastic party cups which were issued. The DJ was playing random tunes from the 70's and 80's, with people off all shapes and sizes on the makeshift dancefloor. One particular person stood out in the crowd, with bleached blonde hair, in white jeans and cowboy boots, she was probably carrying the flag for all of Eastern Europe. Much speculation was had if said lady that was gyrating wildly was indeed a lady, or had only recently become one. The group we were with were trying to catch an outline of an Adam's apple, but with the fading lights it was quite difficult.

The fun really began when a pop song from each country started up and before you knew it each delegation from that particular country were up and gyrating randomly. At one point, a really cheesy song came on and OH commented on the lyrical genuis of rhyming 'miss' with 'kiss', when suddenly I remembered where I'd heard this song before.

(Here is where my friend Stornisse will, I hope, wholeheartedly approve of the music tastes of the event)

It was from the Greek entry to the Eurovision 2005 Song Contest.

(I've tried to post a video here but its not working so I've inserted the link instead.)

After this, it was a free-for-all. For the next 2 hours we were treated to a roll call of some of the best (and probably worse, but they were in different languages so we couldn't really judge the lyrical masterpieces that they probably were). Some country and western found its way in, and we spotted a very dour looking woman in a red velvet dress and pearl studded alice band do the two step with a very American looking gentleman. We started to play Guess-The-Nationality.

As the evening wore on and more drink was consumed, I started to feel that the atmosphere was one of great familiarity. I mulled over it for a while and leaned over to OH and said, 'don't you think its a bit like the wedding party of some distant friend or relative?'

OH glanced round and the Eastern European Entrant was now gyrating to a Bollywood contribution with a rather portly and pedestrian looking man. We looked at each other, then stood up, quickly said our goodbyes, and left.